The following is a post by my friend Ann White. We both decided to take a topic and write our opinions on the subject without consulting the other. So to see my opinion on Friendlationships, click here. We might have to do this guest blogging thing again - it's kinda fun.
"So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female he created them."
-Genesis 1:27
At the pinnacle of God's creative work, he created man and woman, and together they are a reflection of his image. I don't think I begin to understand the depth to which male and female combine, compliment, and come together to produce this union that reflects the fullness of the Lord.
But.. one of the wisest sentiments I've ever heard is that for every good gift the Lord gives us, Satan has produced a counterfeit.
The fact is that the general American population is waiting longer to get married. There are many advantages to that, but there are also pitfalls. Despite the fact that we are waiting until we're older to get married, we still have an innate drawing for that type of relational (not to mention physical) intimacy that a member of the opposite sex provides.
Same sex friendships are so important and I believe is where a lot of our character is formed and foundation laid. Friendships with the opposite sex are also so critical. We can learn how to treat each other with respect as brothers and sisters in Christ and experience some level of the balance that men and women were designed to strike together.
But like I mentioned before, for every good thing God gives us, Satan manipulates. Enter the friendlationship. This term is used to describe an increasingly common phenomenon where boundaries become confused in male/female friendships. I will admit that this is an area that I have screwed up more than my fair share of times.
Slowly and in small ways, male/female relationships can go from healthy to inappropriate. And by that I don't necessarily mean physically inappropriate, but perhaps the more dangerous emotionally inappropriate. Emotional inappropriateness can take many forms, ranging the span of all our human frailties: co-dependency, selfishness, jealousy, idolatry.
The keys to avoiding these pitfalls seem trite and cliche, but they're all too true- prayer, honesty, communication, self-discipline and restraint. Respecting and loving one another appropriately is one of the most basic and difficult lessons of life, and relationships with the opposite sex that seek to remain holy and righteous are a gift of an opportunity that God gives us to learn and grow.
6.24.2008
6.14.2008
Boondock Saints
Last night I watched the movie Boondock Saints with my friend Kari. It was a fascinating and entertaining film. Granted it was late, so I fell asleep about ten times, but what I saw I thoroughly enjoyed. And between saying the f-word more times than I've heard in the past year in under two hours, the movie had an interesting question to offer: is it ok for vigilantes to take justice into their own hands as long as the people they are killing are universally accepted as evil?
But I am ahead of myself. The plot goes like this: Two guys, we are led to believe they are deeply spiritual, hear the voice of God one day that tells them to avenge the helpless in the world by killing the wicked. This is their "calling", if you will. So they begin attacking some of the big players in the Russian and Italian mafia with their sidekick, "The Funny Man". By the end of the story they have become local heroes, and are dubbed "The Saints" for their "laudable actions".
The people they kill are undoubtedly the wickedest men in the city they live in. I must have fallen asleep when they mentioned the town name, but I'm thinking Boston. And so we are left with the ethical dilemma - are their actions justified? These aren't vigilantes with a questionable cause. Everyone would agree that the men they killed at the minimum deserved life-sentences in prison, if not capital punishment. But because of the power these men held, getting them in prison by law enforcement is a near impossible task. So the Saints simplify the process.
During my days of religiously watching Law and Order I always sided with Jack McCoy who believed that justice was for the courts. If we allowed others to dole out justice, our system would eventually crumble and anarchy would ensue. Or so his line of reasoning would lead us to believe. This belief was so black and white, that even in the case of the Boondock Saints, he would still think that why their deeds were necessary they still needed to be punished.
After some thought, I'm going to have to say that I still agree with Jack. While the Saints killed people that would be thought of as evil by all of society, letting people carry out the law in their own hands would ultimately lead to chaos. The reason is that punishment is still an arbitrary question after a certain point. Sure, we all think rapists, child molesters, human traffickers all prey on the helpless but we all have our own opinions too. What if my family was robbed, and I suddenly viewed theft as a crime worthy of capital punishment? What gives me the right to decide what is truly evil beyond the universal laws?
Those are some of my thoughts. They aren't worthy of scrutiny in court, that's for sure. What do you think?
But I am ahead of myself. The plot goes like this: Two guys, we are led to believe they are deeply spiritual, hear the voice of God one day that tells them to avenge the helpless in the world by killing the wicked. This is their "calling", if you will. So they begin attacking some of the big players in the Russian and Italian mafia with their sidekick, "The Funny Man". By the end of the story they have become local heroes, and are dubbed "The Saints" for their "laudable actions".
The people they kill are undoubtedly the wickedest men in the city they live in. I must have fallen asleep when they mentioned the town name, but I'm thinking Boston. And so we are left with the ethical dilemma - are their actions justified? These aren't vigilantes with a questionable cause. Everyone would agree that the men they killed at the minimum deserved life-sentences in prison, if not capital punishment. But because of the power these men held, getting them in prison by law enforcement is a near impossible task. So the Saints simplify the process.
During my days of religiously watching Law and Order I always sided with Jack McCoy who believed that justice was for the courts. If we allowed others to dole out justice, our system would eventually crumble and anarchy would ensue. Or so his line of reasoning would lead us to believe. This belief was so black and white, that even in the case of the Boondock Saints, he would still think that why their deeds were necessary they still needed to be punished.
After some thought, I'm going to have to say that I still agree with Jack. While the Saints killed people that would be thought of as evil by all of society, letting people carry out the law in their own hands would ultimately lead to chaos. The reason is that punishment is still an arbitrary question after a certain point. Sure, we all think rapists, child molesters, human traffickers all prey on the helpless but we all have our own opinions too. What if my family was robbed, and I suddenly viewed theft as a crime worthy of capital punishment? What gives me the right to decide what is truly evil beyond the universal laws?
Those are some of my thoughts. They aren't worthy of scrutiny in court, that's for sure. What do you think?
4.18.2008
Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
I saw a Book-Off today. I had to go in. I was never really sure what Book-Off meant in Japan, and just chalked it up to one more classic case of Jenglish (Japanese-English). But, today's Book-Off located in Vancouver, brought back pleasant memories so I decided to go in for nostalgic reasons.
Good thing I did! I found the most amazing book. The title? Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. Here is an excerpt from a rendition of Snow White:
Once there was a young princess who was not at all unpleasant to look at and had a temperament that many found to be more pleasant than most other people's. Her nickname was Snow White, indicative of the discriminatory notions of associating pleasant or attractive qualities with light, and unpleasant or unattractive qualities with darkness. Thus, at an early age, Snow White was an unwitting if fortunate target for this type of colorist thinking.
Now that's what I call balanced, politically correct writing. It's about time there was a bit more sensitivity shown in fairy, excuse me, "individual diety proxy" tales. I promise to never read to my children those biased, antiquated tales any longer. I think its time we all live up to the author's charge:
"If, through omission or comission, I have inadvertently displayed any sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, regionalist, aegist, lookist, ableist, sizeist, speciesist, intellectualist, socioeconomicist, ethnocentrist, phallocentrist, heteropatriachalist, or other type of bias as yet unnamed, I apologize and encourage your suggestions for rectification. In the quest to develop meaningful literature that is totally free from bias and purged from the influences of its flawed cultural past, I doubtless have made some mistakes."
May this blog live up to the same calling.
Good thing I did! I found the most amazing book. The title? Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. Here is an excerpt from a rendition of Snow White:
Once there was a young princess who was not at all unpleasant to look at and had a temperament that many found to be more pleasant than most other people's. Her nickname was Snow White, indicative of the discriminatory notions of associating pleasant or attractive qualities with light, and unpleasant or unattractive qualities with darkness. Thus, at an early age, Snow White was an unwitting if fortunate target for this type of colorist thinking.
Now that's what I call balanced, politically correct writing. It's about time there was a bit more sensitivity shown in fairy, excuse me, "individual diety proxy" tales. I promise to never read to my children those biased, antiquated tales any longer. I think its time we all live up to the author's charge:
"If, through omission or comission, I have inadvertently displayed any sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, regionalist, aegist, lookist, ableist, sizeist, speciesist, intellectualist, socioeconomicist, ethnocentrist, phallocentrist, heteropatriachalist, or other type of bias as yet unnamed, I apologize and encourage your suggestions for rectification. In the quest to develop meaningful literature that is totally free from bias and purged from the influences of its flawed cultural past, I doubtless have made some mistakes."
May this blog live up to the same calling.
3.11.2008
My Fear
I'm afraid of knowing God. I think I've had this fear before, but now this fear seems stronger than ever.
This may sound strange. Especially if you know me. I love God. I love going to church. I love my Christian friends. I love learning all I can about God.
But still I'm afraid. I think I realized why. Because I'm proud. I'm pretty amazing. Or at least think I am. But deep down, in those moments of solitude - those times I actually slow down to contemplate - I know I'm not.
And I realize that if I start truely knowing God and following His word, I'll have to change. I may have to give up my busyness that gives an appearance of being an important Christian. I may have to give up my humor, wit, and sarcasm that gives an appearance of unbounding joy. I may have to give up my knowledge of scripture that gives an appearance of knowing God.
I need to become humble. I need to become nothing. I need to love others as I love myself. Truth is, I don't want to. Because I know I can get away fooling you from now till the day I die. But I can't fool Him. And that's what haunts me.
This may sound strange. Especially if you know me. I love God. I love going to church. I love my Christian friends. I love learning all I can about God.
But still I'm afraid. I think I realized why. Because I'm proud. I'm pretty amazing. Or at least think I am. But deep down, in those moments of solitude - those times I actually slow down to contemplate - I know I'm not.
And I realize that if I start truely knowing God and following His word, I'll have to change. I may have to give up my busyness that gives an appearance of being an important Christian. I may have to give up my humor, wit, and sarcasm that gives an appearance of unbounding joy. I may have to give up my knowledge of scripture that gives an appearance of knowing God.
I need to become humble. I need to become nothing. I need to love others as I love myself. Truth is, I don't want to. Because I know I can get away fooling you from now till the day I die. But I can't fool Him. And that's what haunts me.
2.04.2008
The Vulcan
One of my coworkers informed me today that someone asked, "Is the Vulcan in today?" "The Vulcan?" he asked. "Yeah, Blake, is he in today?" I've been called many things before, but being known as the Vulcan was a new one. According to Wikipedia, a source whose veracity I never question, Vulcans are "...a humanoid species in the fictional Star Trek universe who hail from the planet Vulcan, and are noted for their attempt to live by reason and logic with no interference from emotion." I guess that's me.
It's funny, because at work, it's partially true. I work with computers all day. Well, and people too, but mainly computers and solving logical problems. My mantra at work is "1's and 0's people!" All that means is that it is either true, or not true. Something either happened, or did not happen. There is no gray-area. And with computers, that is always the case. This cold, emotionless logic serves me well.
But I wonder, like the Vulcans, if this keeps me distant and separate from people. My framework with people is often very logical. Thus I'm afraid I lose the complexity that each individual has. I believe that A causes B, and forget that A is made up of tons of other things. Inputs or parameters, if you want to use computer terms. But more than that - past emotional experiences, hurts and joys, successful and failed relationships, harsh words and words of encouragement.
Deep down, I want to be known completly. And deep down, I want to know someone completly. I just don't know how to get there.
Being a Vulcan is much like Simon and Garfunkel's 'rock'. It's safe. It's logical. But it lacks the messiness that is life. And so, this is just me trying to speak in human terms. If I've misinterpeted you, missed the emotion behind what you said (or intentionally did not say) - I'm sorry. Help me out.
And please - realize I'm not so nerdy that I use Star Trek illustrations all the time!
It's funny, because at work, it's partially true. I work with computers all day. Well, and people too, but mainly computers and solving logical problems. My mantra at work is "1's and 0's people!" All that means is that it is either true, or not true. Something either happened, or did not happen. There is no gray-area. And with computers, that is always the case. This cold, emotionless logic serves me well.
But I wonder, like the Vulcans, if this keeps me distant and separate from people. My framework with people is often very logical. Thus I'm afraid I lose the complexity that each individual has. I believe that A causes B, and forget that A is made up of tons of other things. Inputs or parameters, if you want to use computer terms. But more than that - past emotional experiences, hurts and joys, successful and failed relationships, harsh words and words of encouragement.
Deep down, I want to be known completly. And deep down, I want to know someone completly. I just don't know how to get there.
Being a Vulcan is much like Simon and Garfunkel's 'rock'. It's safe. It's logical. But it lacks the messiness that is life. And so, this is just me trying to speak in human terms. If I've misinterpeted you, missed the emotion behind what you said (or intentionally did not say) - I'm sorry. Help me out.
And please - realize I'm not so nerdy that I use Star Trek illustrations all the time!
1.31.2008
Emotions and Spiritual Roller Coasters
I've never been really comfortable with emotions. I'm aware I have them. I'm aware I have a lot of them. But they always seem to get in the way. They seem to cause me to be irrational and illogical in my behavior. And I don't like that. Unless I'm terribly enthusiastic about something (which I know you all find hard to believe), and then I'm ok with it.
And so I find myself confused with the spiritual highs and lows I seem to go through. My spiritual life seems highly emotional. Now, granted, I also feel like my faith is firmly rooted in prayer and plenty of time in God's word, among other spiritual disciplines, but I can't begin to describe the highs and lows my faith has gone through over the past year. Past two years. Past five years.
You see, right now is a point that I really like being a Christian. I am hopeful about God's church, His plan, and His people. In fact, I like being a Christian so much that I really think that it's the best thing for people to be. That shouldn't be surprising - that's what we're supposed to think.
But I know, because experience seems to bear this out, in a few days or a few weeks that will change. And I don't like that. Why is my faith full of such seemingly bipolar mood swings? How do I find some level plains instead of valleys and mountaintops.
I'm not sure - I realize God's spirit is a dynamic and fluid thing in my life. I realize that not having emotion is a little silly. It never works for me when I totally disengage emotionally. I guess I'll have to keep figuring it out - not everything is a mathematical formula. Tis a shame.
And so I find myself confused with the spiritual highs and lows I seem to go through. My spiritual life seems highly emotional. Now, granted, I also feel like my faith is firmly rooted in prayer and plenty of time in God's word, among other spiritual disciplines, but I can't begin to describe the highs and lows my faith has gone through over the past year. Past two years. Past five years.
You see, right now is a point that I really like being a Christian. I am hopeful about God's church, His plan, and His people. In fact, I like being a Christian so much that I really think that it's the best thing for people to be. That shouldn't be surprising - that's what we're supposed to think.
But I know, because experience seems to bear this out, in a few days or a few weeks that will change. And I don't like that. Why is my faith full of such seemingly bipolar mood swings? How do I find some level plains instead of valleys and mountaintops.
I'm not sure - I realize God's spirit is a dynamic and fluid thing in my life. I realize that not having emotion is a little silly. It never works for me when I totally disengage emotionally. I guess I'll have to keep figuring it out - not everything is a mathematical formula. Tis a shame.
1.10.2008
Engaged
How's that for a good title? Now that I got your attention, let's get started.
When I was a sophomore in college I went on my first overseas mission trip. I've really been on two, but hey, that makes my plural statement correct right? My first trip was to the city of Warsaw, Poland. I loved that trip. Never had I been overseas, nor had I ever engaged people in one-on-one Bible studies.
Yet the trip struck me as slightly strange. We were given a book beforehand to read called Once a Catholic. I grew up thinking Catholics didn't read their Bible, and that they were a mighty, evil force against the true church. So off I went, encouraged by my local church, to convert the Catholic masses (no poor pun intended).
I came home greatly troubled by this. I wasn't really sure what I was doing over there, and why we were out to convert other people who believed in God as well - just a bit differently than us.
I have two coworkers at work of a different faith. One is Morman, one is Hindu. Almost daily we engage in spiritual conversations. Sadly, before I met them, my perceptions of their faiths was as limited as my views on Catholocism. But both of these men have strengthened me in my spiritual walk. My Morman coworker and I reguarly discuss scriptures, and different interpetations of God's word. It is uplifting and challenging. How can I let my Bible knowledge slip when I am challeneged by him? But even more challenging is the faith of my Hindu friend. He gets up every morning and meditates and prays for an hour before work. On Fridays, every Friday in fact, he fasts. Soon after I discovered this I was convicted of how little time I spent with God on a daily basis. And so I became more dilligent about my spiritual disciplines, as indicated by my last post. Obviously I can learn a lot from these guys.
I don't think I'll ever again believe that I own the corner on religion or God. How can I? He is too big, and I am too small. I'm not sure how this fits, but I know I look forward to more talks with my friends of different faiths.
When I was a sophomore in college I went on my first overseas mission trip. I've really been on two, but hey, that makes my plural statement correct right? My first trip was to the city of Warsaw, Poland. I loved that trip. Never had I been overseas, nor had I ever engaged people in one-on-one Bible studies.
Yet the trip struck me as slightly strange. We were given a book beforehand to read called Once a Catholic. I grew up thinking Catholics didn't read their Bible, and that they were a mighty, evil force against the true church. So off I went, encouraged by my local church, to convert the Catholic masses (no poor pun intended).
I came home greatly troubled by this. I wasn't really sure what I was doing over there, and why we were out to convert other people who believed in God as well - just a bit differently than us.
I have two coworkers at work of a different faith. One is Morman, one is Hindu. Almost daily we engage in spiritual conversations. Sadly, before I met them, my perceptions of their faiths was as limited as my views on Catholocism. But both of these men have strengthened me in my spiritual walk. My Morman coworker and I reguarly discuss scriptures, and different interpetations of God's word. It is uplifting and challenging. How can I let my Bible knowledge slip when I am challeneged by him? But even more challenging is the faith of my Hindu friend. He gets up every morning and meditates and prays for an hour before work. On Fridays, every Friday in fact, he fasts. Soon after I discovered this I was convicted of how little time I spent with God on a daily basis. And so I became more dilligent about my spiritual disciplines, as indicated by my last post. Obviously I can learn a lot from these guys.
I don't think I'll ever again believe that I own the corner on religion or God. How can I? He is too big, and I am too small. I'm not sure how this fits, but I know I look forward to more talks with my friends of different faiths.
1.01.2008
Discipline
I love discipline. Give me something to be disciplined about, and I'll do it with a passion. I think that is why I enjoyed running so much, and why I had some success in high school and college. I'm not a natural athlete, but I can show up and consistently do everything required in practice. Do I need to be up every day at 5:30? No problem...I'll go to bed earlier. Discipline...sacrifice...it's what I like most.
A few months ago I started having a lot of problems in my life. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, and relationally. I keep a regular prayer journal, and I looked and saw that I had neglected writing in it for several weeks at a time. I threw running out the window, and watched more and more television. Who needed discipline? Not I!
Then I stumbled upon one of my new favorite spiritual books, The Celebration of Discipline. And in it, the author challenged me to be disciplined about my relationship with God. To seek Him every day, no matter what is going on. To have spiritual things I do (be it fasting, reading, praying, meditating, etc.) on a daily basis. By doing that, I will develop a deeper, more spiritual, more intimate relationship with God.
That sounds great to me! I can do that. I think we can find God everywhere. I think we've tried to find God everywhere. But sometimes we forget that it takes dedication to build a relationship. Even with a close friend, we must regularly invest in that person. The deeper the relationship, the more constant the investment must be. Showing up and talking to God every three or four days might get you an acquaintance, but not an intimate friend. Yes, God loves me and loves you. But we have to get involved in the relationship as well.
I look forward to the new year. I look forward to a deeper faith. I look forward to knowing God better than I ever have.
A few months ago I started having a lot of problems in my life. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, and relationally. I keep a regular prayer journal, and I looked and saw that I had neglected writing in it for several weeks at a time. I threw running out the window, and watched more and more television. Who needed discipline? Not I!
Then I stumbled upon one of my new favorite spiritual books, The Celebration of Discipline. And in it, the author challenged me to be disciplined about my relationship with God. To seek Him every day, no matter what is going on. To have spiritual things I do (be it fasting, reading, praying, meditating, etc.) on a daily basis. By doing that, I will develop a deeper, more spiritual, more intimate relationship with God.
That sounds great to me! I can do that. I think we can find God everywhere. I think we've tried to find God everywhere. But sometimes we forget that it takes dedication to build a relationship. Even with a close friend, we must regularly invest in that person. The deeper the relationship, the more constant the investment must be. Showing up and talking to God every three or four days might get you an acquaintance, but not an intimate friend. Yes, God loves me and loves you. But we have to get involved in the relationship as well.
I look forward to the new year. I look forward to a deeper faith. I look forward to knowing God better than I ever have.
11.18.2007
Waiting
God has been breaking my heart down for months now. Perhaps longer. He's wanted to take control of my life, and I have wrestled Him every step of the way. I cede Him a little ground, thinking that I've given Him everything. Yet still He waits, knowing that I haven't.
And I'm tired. Worn out. Frustrated. Wondering how I could seem to have it all together and yet not have anything going for me.
I give up God.
I will listen.
I will obey.
Your better at this anyway.
And I'm tired. Worn out. Frustrated. Wondering how I could seem to have it all together and yet not have anything going for me.
I give up God.
I will listen.
I will obey.
Your better at this anyway.
11.04.2007
Pick 5
Either I am not concentrating very well, or I have come up with an effective study technique. I'm not sure which. However, tonight I am going to pick five GRE vocabulary words at random and use them to tell a story. See if you can discern which words are the five words I picked:
With antipathy the hero landed his eyes on the harsh desert lands of Arizona. Cacti populated the otherwise sparse landscape, a landscape which had been dessicated at the dawn of time. Was he so audacious as to traverse this harsh terrain? No attempts on his part could ameliorate the situation at hand. While his nemesis made desparate, dilatory attempts, he decided the time had come as he stepped out into the great unknown.
Well at least the story wasn't bombastic per usual, although perhaps a bit banal in nature. Can anyone guess which words I chose? Also, three other words were used and bonus points will be given if you can get those right too.
With antipathy the hero landed his eyes on the harsh desert lands of Arizona. Cacti populated the otherwise sparse landscape, a landscape which had been dessicated at the dawn of time. Was he so audacious as to traverse this harsh terrain? No attempts on his part could ameliorate the situation at hand. While his nemesis made desparate, dilatory attempts, he decided the time had come as he stepped out into the great unknown.
Well at least the story wasn't bombastic per usual, although perhaps a bit banal in nature. Can anyone guess which words I chose? Also, three other words were used and bonus points will be given if you can get those right too.
10.29.2007
Short Skirt, Long Jacket
I want a girl who gets up early, (gets up early!)
I want a girl who stays up late, (stays up late!)
I want a girl with uninterupted prosperity,
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape.
~Short Skirt, Long Jacket by Cake
I find this song by Cake quite humorous, even though I'm sure the majority of the innuendos elude me. I'm so naive I'm not even sure if the song contains innuendos, but I'm going to assume that it does to be safe.
But I think it's funny what Cake is looking for in a girl. In essence he's looking for the modern day woman who has "good dividends" and is "sharp as a tack". I think it funny, because this weekend I started realizing that Cake and I are not in competition for the same girl.
Two of my best friends were in town this weekend, and as has become our custom, we finished off with the obligatory pow-wow. We discussed AIDS in Africa, poverty, and how we can help with the situation. And of course, we discussed girls. It's hard to transition from AIDs in Africa to girls, but it is indeed possible.
One of my friends just started dating a girl, after briefly subdating (a whole other blog could cover that very definition!), and he was describing why he liked her. Every part of her, he said, flowed grace and encouragement. Everything she seemed to do was driven by deep love and compassion. While I'm sure she isn't perfect, she sounded incredibly angelic. It then occured to me those qualitys are what I'm looking for.
Many times I think I've gone after the wrong things. Someone who needs me and I can fix. Someone who is funny and enchanting. Someone who is beautiful or brilliant. Most of these things are good, but they aren't eternal. How great to think of someone who supports and encourages me in everything I do. Who is wanting me to reach Heaven and be with God as much as she wants to be there herself.
Not only is that what I want, but that's what I want to be for someone. I can only attract someone like that if I am like that myself. There may be some deep evangelical lesson in all of this too, because that is what draws people to understanding God more.
So I now know what to look for. It's taken awhile, and I've been a little more dense than I should have been. Of course, she probably needs to be brilliant and cute too. :)
I want a girl who stays up late, (stays up late!)
I want a girl with uninterupted prosperity,
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape.
~Short Skirt, Long Jacket by Cake
I find this song by Cake quite humorous, even though I'm sure the majority of the innuendos elude me. I'm so naive I'm not even sure if the song contains innuendos, but I'm going to assume that it does to be safe.
But I think it's funny what Cake is looking for in a girl. In essence he's looking for the modern day woman who has "good dividends" and is "sharp as a tack". I think it funny, because this weekend I started realizing that Cake and I are not in competition for the same girl.
Two of my best friends were in town this weekend, and as has become our custom, we finished off with the obligatory pow-wow. We discussed AIDS in Africa, poverty, and how we can help with the situation. And of course, we discussed girls. It's hard to transition from AIDs in Africa to girls, but it is indeed possible.
One of my friends just started dating a girl, after briefly subdating (a whole other blog could cover that very definition!), and he was describing why he liked her. Every part of her, he said, flowed grace and encouragement. Everything she seemed to do was driven by deep love and compassion. While I'm sure she isn't perfect, she sounded incredibly angelic. It then occured to me those qualitys are what I'm looking for.
Many times I think I've gone after the wrong things. Someone who needs me and I can fix. Someone who is funny and enchanting. Someone who is beautiful or brilliant. Most of these things are good, but they aren't eternal. How great to think of someone who supports and encourages me in everything I do. Who is wanting me to reach Heaven and be with God as much as she wants to be there herself.
Not only is that what I want, but that's what I want to be for someone. I can only attract someone like that if I am like that myself. There may be some deep evangelical lesson in all of this too, because that is what draws people to understanding God more.
So I now know what to look for. It's taken awhile, and I've been a little more dense than I should have been. Of course, she probably needs to be brilliant and cute too. :)
10.17.2007
Porn Sunday and Other Heretical Teachings
When I was growing up I was afraid of other churches. I would hear about the Baptist church down the road and how they used an organ. I felt sorry for them, and prayed that God might overlook their folly so they could go to heaven. In fact, my best friend Melissa went to a Baptist church, and I was deeply worried that we wouldn't be together when God's judgement came. And of course there were others I was concerned about. Apparently these other churches didn't even use the Bible! Those Methodists, Presbyterians, and Community Church people. You know who I'm talking about.
What naivete! Where did these thoughts come from? For the past year I've been peering in to other churches via the Internet and have been shocked by the messages I've heard. They're good! In fact, they are typically better than anything I've ever heard in my life. They are more relevant to my life, to society, and do not seem like trite, tired messages.
So to give you a sampling of what I'm talking about here are some lessons I really like from three different churches:
Jacob's Well (Kansas City)
What is Forgiveness
Becoming Abolitionists
Porn Sunday - LifeChurch.TV (local to Edmond, OKC)
What naivete! Where did these thoughts come from? For the past year I've been peering in to other churches via the Internet and have been shocked by the messages I've heard. They're good! In fact, they are typically better than anything I've ever heard in my life. They are more relevant to my life, to society, and do not seem like trite, tired messages.
So to give you a sampling of what I'm talking about here are some lessons I really like from three different churches:
Jacob's Well (Kansas City)
What is Forgiveness
Becoming Abolitionists
Porn Sunday - LifeChurch.TV (local to Edmond, OKC)
10.14.2007
My American Life
My favorite show on NPR is called "This American Life." I'm certainly an NPR junkie, but this particular show that comes on every Saturday at noon is my favorite. Even more than Car Talk, which is by far the funniest show. I like this show because each week they give little glimpses into real people's lives. The show is divided into acts, and chronicles a different aspect of living in America. Some weeks its as simple as summer camps, while other weeks its about chronic addictions or Shakespeake in prison. And each week I am reminded that all of us have a story, and that our stories are fascinating.
I like movies and books a lot too. I think I like them because they are brief snapshots of time that covers so much ground. We learn a lot about a character's past, how they handle a certain situation, and what that will mean for the rest of their life (if they are so lucky to survive the plot!).
Sometimes I like to view my life in these terms. I've often been vain enough to think that my life would make an interesting story. The characters that would weave in and out of my story would be interesting too. I could talk about my friend who is a poet, wants to be a monk, and doesn't mind being referred to as crazy. I could discuss my friend who is a great teacher, is full of life, and defines the modern day independent woman. I could discuss the occasional fling that comes in and out of my life, or the one girl who really inspires me to be a better man so that I might one day win her heart.
But I'd really love to hear my life narrated. I'd love to know how my past is definng me, and what the future holds. I think hearing our lives through a story would give it more purpose. The things that go on each day sometimes seem mundane. Another five miler. Another day at work. Another day going to church. But these are pages in my life, that somehow make up the larger story. Those pages are somehow giving you character clues into who I am, and how the story will end.
I wonder what that story would be. I wonder what that story is.
I like movies and books a lot too. I think I like them because they are brief snapshots of time that covers so much ground. We learn a lot about a character's past, how they handle a certain situation, and what that will mean for the rest of their life (if they are so lucky to survive the plot!).
Sometimes I like to view my life in these terms. I've often been vain enough to think that my life would make an interesting story. The characters that would weave in and out of my story would be interesting too. I could talk about my friend who is a poet, wants to be a monk, and doesn't mind being referred to as crazy. I could discuss my friend who is a great teacher, is full of life, and defines the modern day independent woman. I could discuss the occasional fling that comes in and out of my life, or the one girl who really inspires me to be a better man so that I might one day win her heart.
But I'd really love to hear my life narrated. I'd love to know how my past is definng me, and what the future holds. I think hearing our lives through a story would give it more purpose. The things that go on each day sometimes seem mundane. Another five miler. Another day at work. Another day going to church. But these are pages in my life, that somehow make up the larger story. Those pages are somehow giving you character clues into who I am, and how the story will end.
I wonder what that story would be. I wonder what that story is.
9.29.2007
My Petty Problems
Each year our church, and many surrounding churches, participate in a day of community projects. We mend fences, clean yards, paint school equipment and much more. Today's work started off very similar to years in the past. I met up with some friends, we joked around as we coated a deck, and were generally having a good time. Then we went downtown.
Our goal downtown was simply to feed the poor and homeless. But I didn't get very far. On my first lunch I met a lady named Lisa, who asked me to pray for her. I was of course glad to pray for her, and tried my best to pray for her needs. However, it wasn't until after the prayer that her whole story came out.
You see, Lisa looked extremely beat up. Her left eye was swollen shut. The rest of her face was scraped. She could barely walk. I didn't pry much, but gradually she began to tell me what happened. Three weeks ago she was put into the hospital because a man continually bashed her, and severely hurt her knees so much that she had to have surgery. After coming out of surgery she was placed into detox because of how frequently she drank. She repeatedly told me she drank to deal with the hurt of this world.
Last night she was finally released from detox. Upon being released, she was left out on the streets to fend for herself. There again she was beat so bad that her eye swelled shut. The police, she said, overlooked what was happening. The centers, after I asked her if she had sought help from them, weren't much help at all. And so she said she couldn't really eat the food I gave her because she was drinking her pain away and she might throw up.
I didn't know what to say. She would say things like, "Don't worry about me. At least I'm not six feet under. The Lord blesses me with that." And, "I'm so tired of being sick and tired." I've heard these things before, but not from someone I couldn't easily write off. Not from someone I couldn't feel self-righteous over and condemn them for making poor choices. No amount of Republican indignation and American independence protected me from feeling her plight.
I don't know her whole story. I probably never will. But I didn't know what to do to help. My measly meal did nothing for her. She didn't even take it. My prayer did have an effect, because God is powerful. But I got back in my van and left her there. Her? She has another night on the streets where she hopes to stay alive.
What can be done in a world this broken? How come I get to come back to my comfortable home and worry about my petty problems? Are we missing something here? Are the only things we can do is bring a sack lunch once a year to people?
"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this:
to visit orphans and widows in their trouble,
and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."
James 1:27, NKJV
Sounds nice. What does it mean?
Our goal downtown was simply to feed the poor and homeless. But I didn't get very far. On my first lunch I met a lady named Lisa, who asked me to pray for her. I was of course glad to pray for her, and tried my best to pray for her needs. However, it wasn't until after the prayer that her whole story came out.
You see, Lisa looked extremely beat up. Her left eye was swollen shut. The rest of her face was scraped. She could barely walk. I didn't pry much, but gradually she began to tell me what happened. Three weeks ago she was put into the hospital because a man continually bashed her, and severely hurt her knees so much that she had to have surgery. After coming out of surgery she was placed into detox because of how frequently she drank. She repeatedly told me she drank to deal with the hurt of this world.
Last night she was finally released from detox. Upon being released, she was left out on the streets to fend for herself. There again she was beat so bad that her eye swelled shut. The police, she said, overlooked what was happening. The centers, after I asked her if she had sought help from them, weren't much help at all. And so she said she couldn't really eat the food I gave her because she was drinking her pain away and she might throw up.
I didn't know what to say. She would say things like, "Don't worry about me. At least I'm not six feet under. The Lord blesses me with that." And, "I'm so tired of being sick and tired." I've heard these things before, but not from someone I couldn't easily write off. Not from someone I couldn't feel self-righteous over and condemn them for making poor choices. No amount of Republican indignation and American independence protected me from feeling her plight.
I don't know her whole story. I probably never will. But I didn't know what to do to help. My measly meal did nothing for her. She didn't even take it. My prayer did have an effect, because God is powerful. But I got back in my van and left her there. Her? She has another night on the streets where she hopes to stay alive.
What can be done in a world this broken? How come I get to come back to my comfortable home and worry about my petty problems? Are we missing something here? Are the only things we can do is bring a sack lunch once a year to people?
"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this:
to visit orphans and widows in their trouble,
and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."
James 1:27, NKJV
Sounds nice. What does it mean?
9.25.2007
Narrow is the Gate
God's word is hard. While it often brings me great comfort, at times it brings me great frustration as well. The reason is because I want to follow it. I want to do what it says. Rather than find the verses that fit me and my needs, I really want to live the entirety of God's message out. That is harder than anything I know. Often times it has me looking around and wondering if anyone is trying to do the same. Then I feel lonely.
We had a retreat for our Singles group last weekend, and we studied parts of the Sermon on the Mount. When I came home Sunday night I decided it would be my goal to read through these passages again and again nightly for the next month. As I read Jesus' words I would then try to live them out. I'd pick a verse, pray on it, and then do it.
But it only took me till verse 3 to get disappointed. Matthew 5:3 says:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
The first words out of Jesus' mouth - his opening statement - is too tough for me. I can't hardly even go on to the next verse although its a bit more comforting:
"Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted."
In a country where things like laughter, ambition, and self-confidence are the esteemed values, it's hard to think that there is any room for humility, meekness, or mourning. In fact, the more I read the Sermon on the Mount, the more I think it goes counter to everything I've ever learned in life.
Yes, that's why it's a revolutionary lesson. But sometimes we leave it as that. Revolutionary. I don't want too. I want to live it.
We had a retreat for our Singles group last weekend, and we studied parts of the Sermon on the Mount. When I came home Sunday night I decided it would be my goal to read through these passages again and again nightly for the next month. As I read Jesus' words I would then try to live them out. I'd pick a verse, pray on it, and then do it.
But it only took me till verse 3 to get disappointed. Matthew 5:3 says:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
The first words out of Jesus' mouth - his opening statement - is too tough for me. I can't hardly even go on to the next verse although its a bit more comforting:
"Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted."
In a country where things like laughter, ambition, and self-confidence are the esteemed values, it's hard to think that there is any room for humility, meekness, or mourning. In fact, the more I read the Sermon on the Mount, the more I think it goes counter to everything I've ever learned in life.
Yes, that's why it's a revolutionary lesson. But sometimes we leave it as that. Revolutionary. I don't want too. I want to live it.
9.20.2007
Out to Sea
A few weeks ago I started my latest hobby. For the last twelve months or so I've been picking up random hobbies for about two months at a time. Last year about this time I learned to ballroom dance. Ok, sure I wasn't that good, but it was fun all the same to not step on a girl's toes fifty-percent of the time less than I used to. Then early this spring I took up rock-climbing. A great hobby that helped me conquer my fear of heights. I tried to take up puzzles during the winter, but that didn't really take.
So this fall when the opportunity came to join Chesapeake's rowing team, I seized it. And boy its been great. I've always had two romanticized dreams in my head that I've wanted to fulfill. One is to be on a campus, wearing a tweed coat during a cool fall day, on the way to teach a computer class that somehow transcends 1's and 0's and gets into the meaning of life. The other dream, much like my Harvard brothers at the crack of dawn, is to be on a rowing team as the sun rises or sets over the water.
One dream complete! Each Thursday night I get to go down to Chesapeake's boat house (yes, we're a crazy company) and get on the river with seven other teammates and row to my heart's content. Granted, I'm not very good, but it's fun.
Rowing is a very team-oriented sport which I didn't realize till I got out there. I'm a runner, which unless your on a cross-country team, is a fairly independent sport. I contend that it's better to run with someone, but most times I run on my own. However, the only way to propel the boat forward is for everyone to be in sync. The oars must hit the water at the same time and come out at the same time.
It's really a great example of unity. In fact, its a rare example of total unity. Many times we think of unity as separate entities making up a whole. And each of those entites can have their own goals, desires, or ideas. Not so with rowing. Everyone must be focused on the goal of rowing together.
So, before I muse too deeply let me just say I really think everyone should get out on the water and row if possible. My next hobby, I think, will be the GRE. Blah...
So this fall when the opportunity came to join Chesapeake's rowing team, I seized it. And boy its been great. I've always had two romanticized dreams in my head that I've wanted to fulfill. One is to be on a campus, wearing a tweed coat during a cool fall day, on the way to teach a computer class that somehow transcends 1's and 0's and gets into the meaning of life. The other dream, much like my Harvard brothers at the crack of dawn, is to be on a rowing team as the sun rises or sets over the water.
One dream complete! Each Thursday night I get to go down to Chesapeake's boat house (yes, we're a crazy company) and get on the river with seven other teammates and row to my heart's content. Granted, I'm not very good, but it's fun.
Rowing is a very team-oriented sport which I didn't realize till I got out there. I'm a runner, which unless your on a cross-country team, is a fairly independent sport. I contend that it's better to run with someone, but most times I run on my own. However, the only way to propel the boat forward is for everyone to be in sync. The oars must hit the water at the same time and come out at the same time.
It's really a great example of unity. In fact, its a rare example of total unity. Many times we think of unity as separate entities making up a whole. And each of those entites can have their own goals, desires, or ideas. Not so with rowing. Everyone must be focused on the goal of rowing together.
So, before I muse too deeply let me just say I really think everyone should get out on the water and row if possible. My next hobby, I think, will be the GRE. Blah...
9.16.2007
An Ode to Fall
I love fall. It is quite easily the best season of all. I think Vivaldi should have spent a bit more time on his fall movement. Sure, "Spring" was probably his best work and it is indeed a fine season. However, I think the majority of people would pick summer as their favorite season. And a few crazy northern friends of mine would pick winter (It's my second favorite season, so don't worry!) .
But I love fall, and so when we had a few brief days of respite from summer last week I was thrilled. The crispness of the air. The start of cross-country season. The beginning of the school year. I can't hardly get enough.
I really think it comes down to the feeling of the air. A runner is deeply in touch with the weather outside. During the summer it's miserable to run. If I don't run much before 8:00 AM, I can forget it. The winter can be fun to run in if there is snow, but the choice between staying underneath warm covers or running in 20 degree temperatures is an oft lost battle. And while the spring provides a great relief to cold winter runs, nothing beats the perfect temperatures of a good fall.
So whether you enjoy running or not, and whether you enjoy fall or not, get outside in the coming weeks. Enjoy the one week of fall in Oklahoma where the leaves actually change colors (so much better in Missouri!) And get ready for the lazy days of winter.
---------------------------
P.S. I might just add it's only about 45 days till you can break out your Christmas music!
But I love fall, and so when we had a few brief days of respite from summer last week I was thrilled. The crispness of the air. The start of cross-country season. The beginning of the school year. I can't hardly get enough.
I really think it comes down to the feeling of the air. A runner is deeply in touch with the weather outside. During the summer it's miserable to run. If I don't run much before 8:00 AM, I can forget it. The winter can be fun to run in if there is snow, but the choice between staying underneath warm covers or running in 20 degree temperatures is an oft lost battle. And while the spring provides a great relief to cold winter runs, nothing beats the perfect temperatures of a good fall.
So whether you enjoy running or not, and whether you enjoy fall or not, get outside in the coming weeks. Enjoy the one week of fall in Oklahoma where the leaves actually change colors (so much better in Missouri!) And get ready for the lazy days of winter.
---------------------------
P.S. I might just add it's only about 45 days till you can break out your Christmas music!
9.03.2007
House
I watched a good portion of House: Season 2 this weekend with my friends. It's an interesting show about a brilliant yet cold-hearted doctor who treats the unsolvable medical cases. Typically to solve the case he has to piece together the life of the victim and discover all the relevant facts necessary to determining their illness. His basic premise is that everyone is not telling him the truth, and his acumen into the human soul is piercing.
Turns out nearly everyone is lying. They're lying about their fidelity; they're lying about their friendships; and the list goes on and on. However, it's not just one case like this. It's everybody. Nobody is immune to deceit. In fact, what helps House out is that he never believes in the good of people. He believes more in the evil.
This is opposite of my approach. I tend to believe in the good of all people. Almost to a fault. I don't see why anyone would every lie to me. Or withhold the truth. Or treat me wrongly. I'm not sure if that's because I honestly believe people wouldn't be like that to me, or because I want it to be that way.
But this can lead to disappointment, or disillusionment about what's really happening. In a lot of ways I think House may be a better judge of character than I am. I may be better at seeing the possibilities in people, but he is better at seeing people as they are. I'm not sure I should be so surprised about this. The book of Romans is filled with passages about how we all are sinful. Paul goes on and on about the fact that he can't do what he knows he should do, but does what he does not want to do because of his weak flesh. If Paul can't even get it right, how could we?
I'm not sure what I'm after. In the end, I want to see the good in people. I don't think that's a wrong desire to have. But perhaps I do have to realize that there are deeper desires that wage wars in all of us. Even in you.
Turns out nearly everyone is lying. They're lying about their fidelity; they're lying about their friendships; and the list goes on and on. However, it's not just one case like this. It's everybody. Nobody is immune to deceit. In fact, what helps House out is that he never believes in the good of people. He believes more in the evil.
This is opposite of my approach. I tend to believe in the good of all people. Almost to a fault. I don't see why anyone would every lie to me. Or withhold the truth. Or treat me wrongly. I'm not sure if that's because I honestly believe people wouldn't be like that to me, or because I want it to be that way.
But this can lead to disappointment, or disillusionment about what's really happening. In a lot of ways I think House may be a better judge of character than I am. I may be better at seeing the possibilities in people, but he is better at seeing people as they are. I'm not sure I should be so surprised about this. The book of Romans is filled with passages about how we all are sinful. Paul goes on and on about the fact that he can't do what he knows he should do, but does what he does not want to do because of his weak flesh. If Paul can't even get it right, how could we?
I'm not sure what I'm after. In the end, I want to see the good in people. I don't think that's a wrong desire to have. But perhaps I do have to realize that there are deeper desires that wage wars in all of us. Even in you.
8.29.2007
Life Without Facebook...again
Since last Friday I haven't been on Facebook. That's six days now. Six! I won't lie. It hasn't been easy. Curing this "healthy" addiction isn't all its cracked up to be. But I gotta try.
So why did I deactivate my account? Lots of reasons. One big reason was that it seemed to consume my free time. Am I bored? Spend 15 minutes browsing people's pictures. Another reason was that it didn't seem healthy. I would infer things from Facebook. You can infer lots of things really, some which are probably true and others that are not. So if I could infer about others, certainly others could infer about me.
But besides wasting time and coming to conclusions without much basis, the real thing that bothered me is that it's not as good of a social tool as it's made up to be. I didn't bond to anyone while I was on Facebook. My relationships didn't grow deeper with any of the 108 people who listed me as their friend.
Oh I know, I know. I'm missing the point. And I am sure I am. But if I am your friend, truely your friend, then their should be more to our relationship than leaving two lines posted on your wall.
So I'm rebelling. I'm 26 going on 60. I'll be back on next week, I'm sure of it. Leave me a post!
So why did I deactivate my account? Lots of reasons. One big reason was that it seemed to consume my free time. Am I bored? Spend 15 minutes browsing people's pictures. Another reason was that it didn't seem healthy. I would infer things from Facebook. You can infer lots of things really, some which are probably true and others that are not. So if I could infer about others, certainly others could infer about me.
But besides wasting time and coming to conclusions without much basis, the real thing that bothered me is that it's not as good of a social tool as it's made up to be. I didn't bond to anyone while I was on Facebook. My relationships didn't grow deeper with any of the 108 people who listed me as their friend.
Oh I know, I know. I'm missing the point. And I am sure I am. But if I am your friend, truely your friend, then their should be more to our relationship than leaving two lines posted on your wall.
So I'm rebelling. I'm 26 going on 60. I'll be back on next week, I'm sure of it. Leave me a post!
8.23.2007
Conditional Love
I've been reading Blue Like Jazz lately. I loathe that book. It convicts me everytime I read it. Sometimes it convicts me more than the Bible. It certainly convicts me more than going to church.
In almost every chapter something sticks out to me that I need to work on. Tonight it was the idea of conditional love. I realized that I give love out based on only selfish reasons. If you talk to me and give me your time, I'll love you. If I have something to gain from having a friendship with you, I'll love you. If you are a good person, I'll love you. However, if none of these three conditions is true than I'll be nice to you. I'll placate you. But forget getting "true love" from me.
While this sounds awful and shallow, there is even something worse than that. I view God's love as conditional. If I'm a nice person who goes to church and helps out, God will love me. If I sin and mess up, God will hate me. Or at least that's what I think. Which explains why I don't feel like God loves me too often. Because I'm not that good of a person. I don't deserve His love.
And I don't. Yet He loves me anyway. So I must start to love others whether they have "earned" my love or not. If someone hurts me I need to love them anyway. If I'm disappointed I need to love them as well. If I seemingly have nothing to gain from someone, I will love them as well. To do that I'm going to have to learn true love. Perhaps removing the conditions on love is a good place to start.
In almost every chapter something sticks out to me that I need to work on. Tonight it was the idea of conditional love. I realized that I give love out based on only selfish reasons. If you talk to me and give me your time, I'll love you. If I have something to gain from having a friendship with you, I'll love you. If you are a good person, I'll love you. However, if none of these three conditions is true than I'll be nice to you. I'll placate you. But forget getting "true love" from me.
While this sounds awful and shallow, there is even something worse than that. I view God's love as conditional. If I'm a nice person who goes to church and helps out, God will love me. If I sin and mess up, God will hate me. Or at least that's what I think. Which explains why I don't feel like God loves me too often. Because I'm not that good of a person. I don't deserve His love.
And I don't. Yet He loves me anyway. So I must start to love others whether they have "earned" my love or not. If someone hurts me I need to love them anyway. If I'm disappointed I need to love them as well. If I seemingly have nothing to gain from someone, I will love them as well. To do that I'm going to have to learn true love. Perhaps removing the conditions on love is a good place to start.
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