eHarmony

If Gabe can do it, I can to is typically my motto. With that in mind I filled out an eHarmony profile to find out more about myself and my view of relationships. Now mind you there is a hefty fee for actually getting paired up with a "compatible" match, so I won't be getting into an online relationship anytime soon, but I've got to admit it was quite interesting. So, although my original intent of this site was just to blab on about random musings I have, here are some insights into my soul provided by the eHarmony. The first list is the 10 "must-haves" if I'm to be in a relationship. It's quite sad that they limited me to 10, because the first time I chose the list I had 31! The second list is the 10 "can't stand" things that I could certainly not live with in a relationship. So enjoy this random insight into my idea of relationships...

10 Must Haves:
Kindness:
I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.

Communicator:
I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.

Exciting:
I must have someone who isn't afraid to take a risk and who see s life as an adventure.

Patience:
I must have someone who can handle life's frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady demeanor.

Intellect:
I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.

Loyal:
I must have someone I can count on to always support me.

Family Life:
I must have a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family.

Spirituality:
I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality, who shares my beliefs.

Relaxed:
I must have a partner who is able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life.

Abstinent:
I must have a spouse who has saved herself sexually for marriage.

10 Can't Stands:
Dependence:
I can't stand someone who bases their happiness on me.

Cheating:
I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.

Self-Centered:
I can't stand someone whose main topic of conversation is herself.

Rude:
I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.

Materialistic:
I can't stand someone who sees material items as a measure of success.

Workaholic:
I can't stand someone who treats everything in life as secondary to their job.

Childishness:
I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.

Hypocrites:
I can't stand someone who holds a double standard for their actions and those of other people.

Undependable:
I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.

Arrogant:
I can't stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.


The thing I like about these lists is that it gets past the superficial issues we so often discuss when talking about our dream someone. As my good friend Mark Barnache said, you want to find someone with the "qwan." Hopefully I spelled that word right but basically the "qwan" is the female version of the Renaissance man. And according to him, she is out there, you just have to be patient and wait on God. He should know; he's getting married January 23rd to a very special lady himself.