2.23.2005

The Fall of Saddam Only Opens Up New Opportunities at the Top

I am slightly under the gun at work right now, so I am pulling up an old, old email that I sent to my professor at OC asking him about lunch plans several months back. Based off of the content of this email it was written right after the fall of Saddam. I have chosen, for the sake of the professor's privacy, to withhold his name, but I think a lot of you will know who it is. Enjoy!

Letter Written to OC Professor:

Bismallah!

I hope you are not in hiding with the recent fall of your shaggy dictator. Since I haven't heard from you in ages, my only assumption has been that you have been in a cave somewhere in the mountains. The end is rapidly approaching for your kind, so you may want to rethink your stance and perhaps become a double-agent. I say we rendezvous and discuss this next week sometime at an undisclosed location. Morse Code me your thoughts and we shall go from there.

Blake

OC Professor's Reply:

You infidel-capitalist fool! This only serves to strengthen my resolve. I will admit that I was disheartened for a short time, but then I heard the quote about our great leader refusing a glass of water because otherwise he would have to go to the bathroom, and how could he do such a thing when his people are in captivity? The thought of his bladder expanding to the size of a pregnant camel—all for us captives; doesn’t it just make you want to keep up the fight?

It is definitely time for another get-together (maybe we could find a rat-infested hole where we could share some stale bread). My two weeks “off” before school starts is rapidly being scheduled for me by those with higher power than I (as if that narrows it down). I’ll shoot you an e-mail once school starts; maybe we can rendezvous about the middle of the month.

~Bismallah

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