I have a hard time separating my life from fictional characters. I seem to identify with every character I come across. When I was in high school my two favorite characters were Jack Ryan and Jason Bourne. A CIA agent and a rogue government assassin. As of yet, my longings for both careers have not panned out. I read Brothers Karamazov once and I could not but feel like Aloysha betwixt my older and younger brothers. I should probably not even go into the similarities between Hermoine and myself, and lest you be confused I find myself so much like Darcey its a wonder a young, enchanting English woman hasn't been swept off her feet by me yet.
Tonight I watched a great movie called "Stranger than Fiction." The main character works for the IRS and has his life figured down to the minute. He is freakishly good with numbers, and lives a fairly predictable, mundane life. I couldn't help but see some similarities between his life and my own. While I think I have a great deal more personality than Harold Crick, I know that like him I want things to be predictable and stable.
Naturally this plot all boils down to a girl. Because, at least in this point in life, that's where we take our chances. Or don't. And so I asked myself, would I ever show up at a girl's store with a box full of "flowers." And to be honest I'm not sure anymore...I would like to think so. But the mantra of late seems to be to not take risks, take it slow, and make sure nobody gets hurt. Is that what I've gained over 26 years? That taking risks ends in disappointment and it is better to play it safe?
If I ever go down with a blaze of glory I'll let you know. I think I will. Probably several more times. But, maybe like Harold I will learn the secret to life is not found in numbers, routine, or predictability.