Why Jesus Didn't Date: The Super-Hero Conundrum

Note: The following is not in the least bit to be regarded as a theological exegesis on the life of Christ. It is merely a humorous idea that popped in my head while taking a shower. Ideas like this are probably what will get me kicked out of the OC Grad Bible program.

Many a times when discussing dating with friends, or perusing literature on the subject matter, the question arises, “Why don’t we have Biblical examples of Jesus dating? He’s supposed to have gone through everything we have but he sure missed the boat on this issue!” Certainly the omission of what was going on in his life between twelve and thirty does lead one to wonder that he might have hit the local galleria a time or two with a beautiful Jewish woman.

After watching many movies involving super-heroes, and namely Batman and Spider-Man come to mind, I think the answer is pretty clear. If you are going to be a super-hero, and let’s face it, Jesus is the apex of super-heros, then you have to make some sacrifices. The reason often given is the danger and potential life sacrifice involved in saving the world, and typically the hero knows that its not good to get emotionally attached for fear of either than person being held hostage in each subsequent sequel or for fear of not being able to make the necessary sacrifices for mankind when its time to save the world.

We can easily see how Jesus, who had prophecy after prophecy predicting his demise for the salvation of the world, could see this as a slight relationship hazard. How could you start a family knowing that at the ripe age of thirty-three you would be ridiculed and eventually hung up on a cross? That would not be easy to explain to his three year old.

Now thankfully what Jesus did give us was a perfect example of how we should interact with others. Granted there are a few family interaction techniques I would probably avoid amongst the Blackwell clan. Not to say that I haven’t tried the line a few times on my family, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” The pursuant Christmas wasn’t quite as white as the previous.

No, Jesus actually does teach us in his interactions with all of mankind how to deal lovingly with people, and that includes those we date. And I’m a bit thankful that there aren’t explicit rules from him that go something like, “Thou shalt only give a hug on the first date.” Not that I would be worried about eternal condemnation if that were a rule.