Not so Enlightened

I love the scientific method. The first time I remember seeing it in motion was when attempting to prove that plants living in sunlight are going to be far better off than plants sitting in my teacher’s closet. The second experience I believe was seeing those very same plants reacting positively to Aerosmith.

Thus from a very early age I was taught that all of my life questions could be solved by this simple five step process. I naturally applied it to everything I came into contact too, including girls.

Then postmodernism stepped in and rocked my world. I suddenly realized that all questions could not be answered by the scientific method. Apparently everything cannot be proven, and the world is not composed of questions that can be tested, proven, and summarized in a nicely packaged theory.

Nowhere has this proven more evident than with dating. I’ve played “the game” horribly and succeeded however briefly and won. I’ve played “the game” great and lost mightily. I’ve watched 10 Ways to Lose a Guy and read Pride and Prejudice and applied my new found knowledge to the female gender only to come up wanting.

I think the thing I’m realizing, and yes I’m a bit late on this one, is that no two situations are the same and you cannot apply a given set of rules to each new person you are interested in or go on a date with. Profound I know. However if you do figure out a fool-proof five-step method, be sure to let me know.


joy said...

If there was an unfailing five step method there would be no fun and excitement in dating relationships. My advice to you is that you stick with who you are and when the right one comes along, she will appreciate and admire all of your pure characteristics and lovable idiosyncrasies.

Stephen said...

I'm not in any position to give dating advice (being 24 and single), but I am constantly refining my dating philosophy and here's what I've come up with so far. If these ideas work, I'll write a book and make a fortune.

Disclaimer: These concepts are mostly untested, and may be subject to immediate, humiliating change.

1. If dating is a game, then it should be fun. Minimize casualties of the game, but remember that the ones who lose the worst are the ones that refuse to play.

2. Have fun getting to know girls instead of pinning your hopes on finding "the one." If you do this well enough, meeting your match might just happen.

3. Instead of trying desperately to impress girls, get to know them and see which ones might be trying to impress you. Act more confident than you feel.

4. Date someone only if you like them, and not because you like dating. Sounds obvious, but it's not.

5. Place yourself in situations where you will come into contact with single people your age of the opposite sex. This is the one I'm having the most difficulty with right now. Where are all the twenty-somethings hiding???

If anyone gives you any better tips, be sure to post them or pass them along.

josh said...

My advice is find the one you want and then creatively pursue! Notice I said creatively not stalkingly. There is one stipulation though, she needs to be slightly attracted to you, but how you find that out...your guess is as good as mine!

Joy said...

Time to post buddy!

Bobq said...

Just wanted to say hi!

lacey said...

Stephen has a pretty good list going. I especially agree with Step 2. It's where I find myself these days. Enjoying time with people is what you're going for. Things should progress naturally. Don't let the question of, "Could she be the one" loom over your head when you start to date someone. Instead, make sure your beliefs are on the same track. THEN...just enjoy that time with her. Ideas of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, serious, and aisle walk partners will come with time. Marriage is way to heavy to start out with and way too much pressure for even a girl to handle. Girls get freaked out too when serious commitment rears it's head too early.

alayna said...

Stephen, I like your list; numbers 1 and 5 are definitely things I need to learn. And I am totally with Lacey about girls getting freaked out about serious commitment that comes too soon. Not only do you just not need to think about it at the beginning, but you (or maybe it's just me) start to evaluate people instead of actually giving them a chance; you start to make this list of all ther reasons that it wouldn't work instead of just taking people for who they are and seeing the amazing person that has touched your life in some small way.

I miss your writings, friend. School is probably taking up a lot of your time but I'd love to hear anything you have to share.

bonn said...

marc's moving?