7.05.2006

Too Many Humans, Not Enough of our Ancestors

Yesterday, against my better judgement, I went to the Witchita Zoo with my friend Stephen. I've never been crazy about zoos, which also is probably why I'm still single. What girl in her right mind is going to like a guy who doesn't feign excitement over enslaved kangaroos? But before my entire female readership base (all three of you) leave for more sensitive male blogs let me explain.

You see, the reason I don't like zoos is because I'm a runner. Or was, before I got the SlingShot2. Seriously though, any runner who goes to the zoo cannot help but to feel a little sad. Next time you go to the lion, bald eagle, or cougar exhibit notice what all three of these magnificent animals are doing. Sleeping! Why? Because they have essentially twenty square feet to move around in. There is nowhere for them to open up and extend their legs/wings into full stride. Instead, they sit there and sleep for our enjoyment. That's why I like zoos.

But that's not why I am writing. The reason I'm writing is because we need to curb procreation. There are just too many people in this world and it has got to stop! In fact, just this morning I was reading that we were going to hit 300 million people in America around October 17th. And of course the same thing we know about compuonding interest is true with people, thus I see no end sight until the avian flu hits.

What I did learn from the zoo though is that homosapiens seem to be the only group doing well in this world. Every other creature known to man is on the decline, including our ancestors the monkeys. They are doing really bad from what I could tell of multiple exhibits. It kind of makes you wonder though why many biologists work so hard to save them if they truely believe in survival of the fittest.

Anyways, the moral of the story is one baby a piece people! This should cut the population back in half in only a generation and then we won't have to move to North or South Dakota, about the only place population is actually declining. Who in their right mind wants to be forced to do that?

6 comments:

Liz said...

Ha, right you are! Didn't these people ever see Soylent Green?
No one wants that.

FRQSTR=19036475x219050:1:1440|19036475|19036475|19036475|19036475 said...

Maybe you didn't know this, but the hippopatamus has very similar teeth to human teeth--molars, incisors, etc. Also, the human body is very similar to that of apes, as far as skeleton and hand shape is concerned. Don't forget, however, that chimpanzees and gorillas are not monkees. They are apes! Finally, reptiles are very similar to humans. Our skeletons and internal organs closely resemble each other. Reptile scales are made from the same material as human hair. Our little trip to the zoo has shown me that evolution is the only real explanation! Obviously. Survival of the fittest is how we got here!

~Stephen

Stephen said...

I came to an extraordinary evolutionary insight while reading this blog entry. Americans evolved from the British! I suppose that makes Canadians the missing link (since we're somewhere between the two cultures, though far closer to Americans).

Americans should stop procreating so we lower mammals can have some space to roam free.

Kari said...

dude, lions sleep for 22 hours a day in the wild, too.

And are you alluding to A Modest Proposal in your population reduction theory? Because I don't think Swift was terribly far off. We can upscale his ideas to a world-wide level if we wanted to.

ann said...

Glad to see you being a prolific blogger again, Blake-o. :)

Bonn said...

Dude, this is a religious argument. Blame the mormons. Considering they hold half of the world's weath, not that I know where they hold it, but they do. The more babies, the better for them. You should be talking to them about this, not to the alleged 5 people that read your blog.