One year ago on August 25th my mom passed away. It was a day that was bittersweet. We were thankful that her body and soul now had the rest she deserved, but sad to no longer have her with us. She had suffered bitterly since she discovered that she had cancer, and literally hung onto a small thread of life for her last couple of weeks on earth. I remember praying that God would just give her relief, because it was the most horribly painful position I'd ever seen anyone be in. I never talk about that, and probably never will again on this blog.
I've missed my mom in the past year a great deal. I think I may have taken her for granted all these years, because only when she is no longer with us do I realize what a great woman she was for our family. She was the glue that tied us all together. In a family of all boys, that would naturally be the case. She was also the most spiritually strong in our family. Daily she would pray for us individually, bringing before God whatever struggles we were each undergoing. She was also the model of true Christainity - always trying to do what was right, and never one to deny that she had made a mistake.
In listing these things its funny what I remember most. It isn't that she was terribly funny (although boy could she get carried away!), or extremely creative, or even overly brilliant. It is those fruits of the spirits that she so readily portrayed that I remember. Which is probably why God wants us to develop them so much, because they are what truly matter most. We might be remembered for being an enjoyable person to be around, but more importantly it seems we'll be remembered by the quality of our life in our relationships to others.
Yeah, I miss my mom. But it is a strange kind of longing I have for her. I miss her in those times of need that only a mother can provide comfort. Confusion over why people are behaving in such a way, life becoming overwhelming, and simply when you need a pep talk to keep on going. And its in the future that I will miss her too. She will not be there when I get married one day, and the wonderful girl I marry will not get to know her either. Never will she see her grandchildren, nor see me graduate from grad school, or move into my first house.
But life goes on. It must. And just like we live for Jesus because of the great sacrifice he gave us, so also my family lives for my mother because of all her daily sacrifices she never failed to give us.
So thanks mom. I love you and miss you.