Sitting solitary tonight in a hotel room in North Carolina, I felt very alone. Very adult. I chose North Carolina for my computer training because I wanted to see my dear friend Melissa, and I'm really looking forward to that. But I still couldn't help the fact that I felt too adult-like for my age.
So I called my friend Peter. Pete and I are the type who will one day sit in high-back chairs with suspenders and discuss the good old days in wistful, reminiscent tones. But tonight we talked about increasing responsibility. About becoming mature adults. Being leaders who have to act seriously. Enjoying life and being young. Realizing that youth culture is valued highly in our society, but wisdom is what we should cherish. What it feels like to be rejected by a girl, and how that increases our doubt and insecurity. On what love is and what love we have to give to a woman.
Our conversation ended and I felt better. I realized I wasn't as alone in the world as I thought. Someone else my age was struggling with these same issues and not merely dwelling on trivial acts of youthful frivolity.
Of course, after this post, I sound older than ever. But that's ok. I still am fun, nerdy, and goofy. Just a bit more restrained and mature about it. Read the Proverbs and Psalms. It's ok to value wisdom and restraint.