One of my coworkers informed me today that someone asked, "Is the Vulcan in today?" "The Vulcan?" he asked. "Yeah, Blake, is he in today?" I've been called many things before, but being known as the Vulcan was a new one. According to Wikipedia, a source whose veracity I never question, Vulcans are "...a humanoid species in the fictional Star Trek universe who hail from the planet Vulcan, and are noted for their attempt to live by reason and logic with no interference from emotion." I guess that's me.
It's funny, because at work, it's partially true. I work with computers all day. Well, and people too, but mainly computers and solving logical problems. My mantra at work is "1's and 0's people!" All that means is that it is either true, or not true. Something either happened, or did not happen. There is no gray-area. And with computers, that is always the case. This cold, emotionless logic serves me well.
But I wonder, like the Vulcans, if this keeps me distant and separate from people. My framework with people is often very logical. Thus I'm afraid I lose the complexity that each individual has. I believe that A causes B, and forget that A is made up of tons of other things. Inputs or parameters, if you want to use computer terms. But more than that - past emotional experiences, hurts and joys, successful and failed relationships, harsh words and words of encouragement.
Deep down, I want to be known completly. And deep down, I want to know someone completly. I just don't know how to get there.
Being a Vulcan is much like Simon and Garfunkel's 'rock'. It's safe. It's logical. But it lacks the messiness that is life. And so, this is just me trying to speak in human terms. If I've misinterpeted you, missed the emotion behind what you said (or intentionally did not say) - I'm sorry. Help me out.
And please - realize I'm not so nerdy that I use Star Trek illustrations all the time!
...on the way home.
Stats and Stuff
4 comments:
A lot has changed at work since the way-too-loud-music Fridays of our youth. I hope they're not crushing your spirit. And I hope I didn't crush your spirit. But it was hard to concentrate with all that noise!
Oh, and for Simon and Garfunkel -- what do you mean "safe"? They're the poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex.
This is interesting to me. If anything, I have known you as an extremely emotional person. Granted I don't know how you are at work, but it's so strange to me that someone would see you as emotionless. I will say, though, that at times you seem to be afraid of your emotions or just don't want to deal with them and rather than go through them, tend to shut down completely. Then you can seem rather cold and emotionless. But I wouldn't call you a Vulcan. :)
Personally, I think being known completely is overrated. But maybe that's just me. Maybe that's just because I've grown accustomed to being incompletely known. I'd say, "Live long and prosper" but I don't consider you much of Vulcan, either. Unless, of course, you can do the Vulcan Mind Meld. That would definitely change my opinion of you. I've always thought of you as more of a Chas Tennenbaum than Spock, and Chas was quite emotional.
One thinks that to be prisoner in front of a computer it moves away to you of the life but is not true, we are in contact with other people although it is by means of fictitious means, not believe that you are nerd to make illustrations of Star trek I draw all the day to my favorite actor and I am not a crazy person... Kisses
Akane (Maria)
Argentina
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