A Long Time Ago In Japan

Dear Mr. George Lucas Ltd.,

Sir I am gravely concerned. Quite frankly I haven’t been this concerned since, well let me see, Roe vs. Wade. No better make that Bush vs. Kerry. Nope, I don’t believe that shows the true gravity of the situation. How about Rocky IV vs. Ivan Draco? There, I think I’ve made my point.

You see, I have long been a fan of yours. You run a close second to the Cleveland Browns in my book. I grew up with cousins who lived and breathed Star Wars, and thus I had second-hand Star Wars passion as a result. I love to go to the premieres, sometimes I will wait as long as three hours in line!

But you see I am moving to Japan next week on Thursday at 7:24 AM. This puts me in a bit of a pickle, and hopefully this is just a misprint, but the premiere for Japan is not till July! Why? Are you trying to torture me? Have I not given you enough of my money over the years?

One other concern I have, and I really apologize for being so negative. I personally think Jar-Jar-Binks was a brilliant idea. Classic! My other question is whether or not Yoda will be speaking in Japanese when the movie finally does come out? Yoda is confusing enough to me in English, and I would hope that you could retain his grammatically incorrect English for the Japanese version of your great movie.

I thank you for your time. Please inform me that it was a misprint.

May the force be with the United States AND Japan,
Blake Blackwell


Peter Rice said...

Thank you for your words, Blakewell. I think you speak for all of us here in Japan. These are dark times indeed.

Anonymous said...


I am pleased to inform you that the premier is actually in July. Yoda will even be speaking in Japanese with correct grammar. Jar Jar Binks will not be in this film due to your negative feedback concerning him. I have re-cut the film to eliminate him altogether. Thank you, Blake, for your inspiring letter. And may the force be with YOU.

George Lucas himself
(or maybe not)

P.S. Blockbuster will not charge you any late fees if you rent this movie from them in the states. I have heard you're a loyal patron of that respectable business.