A little McDonald's Never Hurt Nobody

Dear Ronald,

I recently heard that there are two extremely greedy girls – let’s just call a spade a spade, shall we? – who/whom are blaming their weight problems on your quality line of products and are suing you. This is atrocious! I would never have considered my recent need to buy size 32 pants (up from size 30) as a result in partaking in a delicious 30 grams of fat, 560 calorie Big Mac. I must confess though that I think the bean burrito at the neighboring Taco Bell may have pushed me over the edge (literally and physically).

Is there any way I can contribute to your legal funds? Now I’m aware that probably 1/10th of a dime from every hamburger I buy goes directly to your crack squad of legal scholars, but if I could up the ante with perhaps a George Washington I’d be more than happy to help. This kind of nonsense must stop!

I just want to thank you for feeding the American public. I think sometimes we forget what you’ve done for us. If only we could return to the innocence of our Happy Meal days, that’s what I’m always telling my female friends anyway. I wonder if this logic is why I can’t get a date?

Thank you Ronald, for your time. I’m sure you are busy sitting on the playground bench waving to the kids. Oh, this brings up one more point. Perhaps if you rescinded the 4-foot ban on the height restriction to your wonderful playground us grown-ups could get in the ball-pen and burn a few calories. Just food for thought!

I know you are a family man so I’ll let you go.

Keep on counting!
Blake Blackwell

p.s. What do you think of this Jerry fellow? Do you think he has a personal trainer?

Response from McDonald's

Hello Blake:

Thank you for contacting McDonald's. We greatly appreciate your support.

We too believe common sense says this particular case makes no sense. The latest ruling simply delays the inevitable conclusion that this case is without merit.

The key issue remains personal responsibility and making informed choices. McDonald's will continue to offer a menu of quality and variety that gives customers a wide range of choices that can fit into a healthy well-balanced diet. McDonald's has provided nutrition information for 30 years so that our customers can make informed personal choices based on their own dietary needs.

In addition, thank you for you interest in wanting to help McDonald's. The best way you and other customers can help us at this time is by offering your continued support.

Thank you again for your supportive comments. We look forward to serving you under the Golden Arches soon.

McDonald's Customer Response Center


Please do not "reply" to this email response. All "replies" go to an unmonitored mailbox and are not reviewed. If you wish to contact McDonald's Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com.


Anonymous said...

I love it! BR

marc said...

you crack me up.

i love you brother.

Mgam said...

Great response by Robyn. I'm moved. Next maybe you should write for favorite president, W, to give him a vote of confidence.

Mgam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.