Here is my email to Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft on my unfaithfulness to his great company:
It’s with great trepidation that I write you Bill. You see, I’ve been with you since 1995, and never once had any doubts. That’s right, I was there when things started really getting good. I loved Windows 95! And the Internet? What would we have done if Al Gore hadn’t invented it?*
But now, alas, I’m afraid I’m having the “ten year itch.” You see, I’m faltered and am not as faithful as I once was. Bill, I don’t know how to say this, but I bought an iPod! Alright, don’t beat it out of me. I don’t even use Internet Explorer anymore! I can’t figure out how to remove IE, but that sure didn’t stop me from downloading Firefox. There! I’ve come clean! I feel so much better about myself now.
I’m just writing because I hope you can forgive me Bill. Or do you prefer William? Anyways, I should know that by now, and I don’t. Wow I feel bad.
Can I ask you one other question while I have your attention? Why is hmmm spelled with two or three m’s and not four or more? Have you never let out a good “Hmmmmmmmmm”? I have. More than once. But every time I try to let out a good “Hmmmmmmmmm” in Microsoft Word or Outlook it gives me the red line of death. I really wish you would turn the red line of death into the blue line of polite suggestion. The red ink pen still haunts me from my early days in elementary school.
Bill, I really hope you can forgive me, and I want you to know that at the core I’m still a Microsoft guy through and through. I talk about you every day at work and say “Well Bill was dead on with that one.” You see I’m actually a .NET developer. As I always say, “.NET in the house!”
*Funniest thing I ever saw on television: “If Al Gore invented the Internet then why does it start with Dubya, Dubya, Dubya!” What a great guy we have for a president, huh?