Mixin' with the Southern Baptist

My letter to ChurchOfChristSingles.com:

Dear Church of Christ,

I have recently met someone, and I think she is the love of my life. We are almost the same height, we both like the Cleveland Browns, and she reads out of the King James Bible. There seems to be only one slight problem. She is Southern Baptist. Not only am I worried about some doctrinal differences we have, but I'm also worried about what will happen if we get married and move out of Oklahoma. What if we move up north to Chicago? Are their Northern Baptists? Or for that matter eastern and western Baptists? I'm new to this whole Baptist thing so help me out!

I think its great what you are trying to do. Down with eHarmony! Sometimes I kind of feel bad for Abraham's servant who was tasked with finding Issac a wife. He had such a long way to walk! But with the Internet I just have to press the right buttons and instantly I'm happy. Incredible! Keep up the good work!

On second thought, what do you think about arranged marriages? I bet you I would already be married by now if my parents had chosen a girl for me. Than I would be incredibly happy and feel complete. But I'll keep trying to get up the courage to type a few emails if things don't work out between the southern Baptist and I. Don't you worry!

By the way, my new love, her name is Rebekah too. Can you believe it? Wow! I guess Walt Disney was right, it IS "..a small world after all." Insightful man.

Grace and Peace,
Blake Blackwell


Gabe said...

HIlarious! You didn't really meet a baptist girl did you?

Sam said...

Are you Christian? Are you single? Those commercials used to crack me up. And what's wrong with EHarmony? I've seen it work!

blakewell said...

And what if I did? Actually, one of my best friends in high school was baptist, and even though she's on the complete opposite end of the spectrum with me ideologically on almost every issue, I'd marry her in a heartbeat. Unfortunately I think I waited too long...